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How To Scare Readers Away From Your Blog

Loyal readers are a tolerant bunch. They’ll happily ride out periods of inconsistency, promote your blog when you’re too busy, and even offer suggestions when you’re fresh out of topic ideas. All that and much more if they think you’re worth it! Unfortunately, many bloggers take advantage of this loyalty, becoming lax, or even narcissistic in their approach. They expect readers to be patient and humble; after all, is it not they who are providing a service?  Of course, there are plenty of other ways you can get the job done too, but, if there’s one thing guaranteed to cause a mass exodus, it’s a writer who puts him/ her-self before readers. My handy ‘how to’ explores a few more inspired ideas.

1. Delay Your Next Post By 2 Weeks

Have you noticed how professional bloggers always seem to maintain a regular posting schedule? Readers love that. In fact, they’ll actually respect you for maintaining frequency, because it demonstrates a commitment to pleasing them. And of course, we all know this means they’ll stick around, subscribe to your blog, and even start leaving comments on your posts. It may sound heartless, but severing your commitment to readers is the first step in getting rid of them. Start posting erratically, or, simply leave it two weeks before you bother to publish another post!

Do you remember the Farmville game on Facebook? Imagine if you left your crops and farm animals for two weeks – they would all die! So if you didn’t want your little piggy dead why would you leave your blog for two weeks knowing it could kill it? I may be far out of the line here, but I think your blog is a bit more important than your precious little piggy. Isn’t t?

2. Install An In-Text Advertising Widget

Pay-per-click advertising was once a boon for bloggers seeking to make a residual income. But, it quickly transpired that, rather than encouraging readers to click-through, all these pesky advertisements succeeded in driving them away. Dennis Goedegebuure, author at Next Corner, lists numerous issues with pay-per-click links in Can We Please Ban In-Text Advertising – namely how this form of “pop-up” advertising can distract readers and slow down websites. Ironically, both are proven methods for scaring off readers, and combined, will make them disappear far more quickly!

3. Publish Incoherent Posts (Jargon Optional)

Readers love coherency. From the nicely edited, concise little paragraphs, to the thoughtful subheadings that break down your articles into digestible chunks, your efforts to improve readability truly show you care. So, what better way to alienate readers than by making your posts too difficult to read? Here’s how to go about it:

  • Open with a nice, extremely long introduction.
  • Omit using short sentences anywhere in your article
  • Include plenty of technical terms, synonyms and jargon.
  • Describe people, places or objects in as much detail as possible.
  • Confuse the reader as you would a cop if you were a criminal

4. Never Publish Comments Or Respond To Emails

Readers are the driving force behind the success of many blogs. Were it not for their interaction, praise and constant questions, most bloggers would have undoubtedly given up or run out of ideas after the first six months! Blogging is all about give and take, so if you’re diligently responding to every email and comment that comes your way – stop! Readers will soon get fed up with your selfishness and move on to a blog where their opinions are valued.

5. Cover Similar Topics From Other Bloggers

Plagiarism of any kind is never acceptable, and aside from being morally wrong, it could cost you a fortune in legal fees. Fortunately, you don’t have to go to quite such lengths to bore your readers. Simply take a look at what other popular blogs in your niche are writing about, and then churn out posts tackling the same subject. Repeat this regularly for ultimate effect. Your audience will soon tire of reading the same content they’ve discovered elsewhere!

Remember – don’t get inspired. Try to write as similar as possible. Become a copycat. Getting inspired by other bloggers will not help you drive away your readers, so you need to show discipline in copying from others.

6. Go Overboard With SEO

Keyword stuffing is bad SEO practice, and one which many bloggers avoid for fear of compromising their position among SERP’s (search engine results pages). To interrupt the flow of intelligent articles and deflect potential traffic, pad out your content with as many keyword phrases as possible. Readers won’t stick around if they can’t read your posts. Nor for that matter will search engine crawlers!

To put it bluntly: if you care more about keyword phrases than the content, your readers will care more about unsubscribing from your blog than reading empty content.

7. Install Pop-Ups and Flashing Ad Banners

Pop-up advertisements are the bane of online browsing. Typically, they advertise miracle lifestyle products promising overnight results, or fast and foolproof ways of making a small fortune. Most bloggers tend to avoid these gaudy advertising widgets, preferring to implement unintrusive income generators – such as Google AdSense. If you’re not all that bothered about earning a passive income and you want a sure-fire way of scaring off your readers permanently, a combination of pop-up adverts and flashing banners will certainly do the trick!

Culling your subscribers is generally easier than attracting them, but, if you’re not out to kill your blog, you might want to take opposing measures to those outlined above. It’s not that difficult to attract readers, but to keep them, you must learn to reward their loyalty!

Author Bio:- Jack Samuelson is a contributing author who writes on numerous subjects. His main interests are: human rights in a digital age, online security and anonymous surfing. As he is interested in new technologies (such as tools to hide IP) he also follows the news about internet privacy and political freedom.

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